Impulse

Always try to avoid fights and arguments, even if you can win. Courage lies in the wisdom of knowing when the fight will gain you something and when it won't. And losing a fight that is worthless, is actually winning it. Always quantify and prioritize judgment over will. Sometimes it takes more courage to not fight. That's where you overpower your will to overpower your opponent and your judgment triumphs. Will is a reaction, while judgment is a decision. If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one might appreciate his bravery, but not his judgment.

Let's say you didn't seek the fight, but the fight came to you. Someone sits on your seat and refuses to get up, someone bumps into your car and starts shouting at you.

These are the situations where usually the action begins. And post action, comes the common explanation i.e. "They didn't give me a choice". I say it's foolish and false. False that there existed no other option; and foolish to increase the tempo of the fight when nothing is at stake. What could you possibly lose if you just drive away from the man shouting at you? Well, you do lose something there; i.e. your ego.

But do people really like to lose their very dear ego? Not often. Nobody likes to lose a fight and look like a coward right? Let me tell you where exactly lies the courage and cowardice. Cowardice lies in the heart of a man who chooses to fight. It is so, because first, when you pick a fight, you declare a defeat of your judgment over your will. And second, you portray that you do not have the courage to resolve the matter. While the one trying to avoid the fight is portraying a keen effort to resolve the matter with peace and has a clear-headed control over his will and senses. A perfect portrayal of a personality having inner strength and self-reliance; 'courageous' enough to withstand hostility and aggression without being reactive.

I do not find any sense when people say 'fight with courage'. Fighting does not make you courageous but picking your battles does.

You do not have to show up to every argument you are invited to. One should always realize that it is a senseless fight if you're not losing or saving something at the end of it. To be mentioned duly, if there is something at stake, do fight for it. It is always wise to fight for something or someone dear.

The rise in tension of fights is always directly proportional to the size of ego, and inversely to the logic. After a point in a fight, you are no longer fighting for the cause, but to save your ego from damage. There occur numerous thinkable events happening around us on the same blueprint. But trust me, punching back the guy just because they punched you first, won't gain you anything.

In my advice, next time you encounter a fight and want to teach that jerk a lesson, just walk away. And you have just taught him a lesson hundred punches could never do. Forgiveness is the biggest gesture of love. A generous heart and a kind speech will get you through more fights than your rock fists and warm head will ever do.

Do good and be good, peace! :-)

Respect for Introverts

In the society of late night parties, EDM driven dance, hours and hours of calls and texts with friends, there is long ignored a breed called 'Introverts'. For me, anybody who likes to keep their feelings to themselves and enjoy their own company mostly and likes to deal with their own issues in life is an Introvert. But as is the nature of the society towards all minorities, it is so towards introverts as well. Oppression and Imposing of ways and habits is something introverts suffer from quite a long time now.

We introverts like to do things a little bit different from what extroverts like. Dancing in parties, expressing our hearts out blank to everyone, whining in front of friends about the issues of life aren't really the things that an introvert likes to do.

And that does not mean we do not enjoy ourselves. If you want to hang out with me, don't take me to a party to dance with, sit me down in a cafe instead and you'll like my company more. If you want me to share my feelings with you, be a good listener and slowly you'll find me being comfortable with you. Most people listen not to listen but to get an opportunity to speak. If you want to celebrate with me, don't send me a shiny invitation to a lavish late night party with 100s of people dancing. Instead, sit me down in a cafe with a couple of friends a for a nice little chat. And hopefully, it will be a more pleasant experience. Introverts keep what they feel, what they want, what they like...everything to themselves which often makes other people misunderstand them for being rude, unsentimental, arrogant, shy and ignorant. Trust me, we are none of these. It's just your perception.

Society nowadays is designed and inclined to feed the interests of extroverts.

Celebration today is equal to a party, friendship is equal to the duration of calls and quietness is equal to shyness. Society finds superiorities in being an extrovert. Here, we are fed with a daily thought that those who do not dance in a party are shy, rather than respecting somebody's dislike towards dancing. And what is wrong with being shy anyway? Here, we are shown that those who talk to their friends hours and hours in a day are closer friends. I have a friend whom I meet once in a month or two. And I am closer to her than I am to the people I spend the whole day with everyday. Why doesn't that fit the same logic? Because we usually value the quality of time spent rather than the quantity of it. Here we are also told that we should be like that random guy who speaks to new people very easily. More than it is about whether we can or cannot, it is about whether we want to or not.

 I respect the way of life of extroverts. I just don't see myself fitting in there.

So rather than trying, I like to sit back and relax with the way I am. And one should respect that. Period. It is already difficult for introverts to find their niche in a world that predominantly values extrovert tendencies and as a responsible human one must not invade their space even more. As humans beings, we should be acknowledging and respecting the diversity of interests and opinions and ways of life of other people rather than imposing ours on them. Not doing so, ironically, makes one rude, unsentimental, arrogant and ignorant.

SO, my message to every extrovert reading this is that we respect the way you live your life but we just don't happen to like it. We have a different way by which we like to live our lives. And what you should be doing is respecting it rather than imposing your ways on it. And to all the introverts reading this, do not poison yourself with the illusion that any other way of enjoying your life is better than what yours is. Do what you enjoy and be proud of who you are. Stop pitying yourself and start loving yourself.

Bollywood: Pride or Shame?

Why Bollywood doesn’t appeal to people with a wide spectrum of movies watched? There is a very ‘logical’ reason behind it. Requirements: Read it till the end open-mindedly.

My first point of reference to portray it would be the list of highest grossing Indian movies in India as of now:

In this list, the utter mediocrity level movies are abundant such as Dhoom 3 on 6^th, Dilwale on 11^th followed by Kick and Happy New Year on 13^th and 15^th places respectively. Seriously? A highly mediocre and plagiarized version of Fast and the Furious is the 6^th best movie Bollywood has to offer?

If this is the kind of movies that make moolah, why should a Vishal Bhardwaj or an Anurag Kashyap invest into one with substance? Why slog hard to make good, original music when no one cares if you rip-off an Asian artist, or an African one? Why focus on honing one’s acting skills when all you need to land a movie role is a pretty, manicured face and a good, toned body?

Why?

Unless there is a reaffirming answer to the above questions, this industry will continue to churn out dull, uninspiring romantic flicks, prep them up with the same, formulaic songs, and the coming generations of the Kapoors, and the Khans, and the Roshans will keep laughing at the naivety of us Indian movie-goers, while stroking each others’ egos on Koffee with Karan.

Another point here would be,

One big thing Bollywood misses is the Method acting style of performance. I have to step down and say it, Bollywood actors have become too accustomed to a luxury life to even put in a little effort for the role they are in. Shia LaBeouf took acid for Charlie Countryman, Heath Ledger locked himself in a hotel room for about a month to prepare for his role as the Joker in The Dark Knight, even Jared Leto did. That's dedication. Tearing off your branded clothes on the set isn't. I've seen tons of Bollywood movies to say that in 90% of the roles, the actors seem as if they didn't even understand the character they were playing. Seriously, think of it.

Also,  the lack of good actresses

Kahaani, The Dirty Picture, and Queen were the last movies with female lead characters, were box office hits and were pretty darn watchable. Guess who has the most Academy awards in Hollywood? Katharine Hepburn - an actress. There are tons of other brilliant actresses who can dynamically lead and totally conquer a leading role in a movie in Hollywood. Cate Blanchett, Meryl Streep, Jennifer Lawrence, Hilary Swank, are just to mention a few. The purpose of an actress is to act, not to dance an item number or to play the damsel in distress being saved by the hero. Female actor industry has made their topmost requirement as good looks over good acting moving actresses such as Bipasha Basu and Parineeti Chopra going higher and higher in the charts with wonderful method actresses such as Richa Chadha trailing behind.

And finally,

What is the basic necessity of any movie? Yes, a plot. Bollywood seems to forget that totally. It seems like a 10-year old got an amazing idea to write a book, got bored and ran out of thoughts in the middle and somehow managed to end it with plot holes so big that the Hulk could fall through them. A movie is a process.

A man comes up with an idea. Pens it down. A director finds the idea and realizes that he can put it on the giant screen. People fit for the character in the story are found. They try their best to adhere to the needs of the story. The cinematographer films. The editor edits.In Bollywood, a man with some money wants to make some more money. He finds the best selling actor in the market at that time. Even though, his persona doesn't fit the character at all. He finds the hottest girl who will be willing to shed a few threads off her body. Add in an item song. Cinematographer only rotates the camera around her boobs and butts, and viola, we have a weekend blockbuster.

Bollywood needs a serious jolt to the head to wake up. For that, we need to educate the masses. Education is the answer to 99% of India's problems, and, fortunately, Bollywood is one of them.

NOTE: Maximum portion of the article is taken from various answers about the questions related to the topic on Quora, the rights belong to the respective writers and not me. I only stitched these answers because I thought I should promote this topic and widen the audience reading this phase of the subject.

Do you Travel?

For me, travel is a lot of things. To me it’s a religion which enlightens me, it's an adventure which is unpredictably thrilling and it's my romantic love story into which I fall deeper each moment. Travel is your day to day life. A person isn’t defined as a nomad or a traveler by how much he travels but by how he travels through his life. A true nomad, to me, is a person who is entirely or partially detached from the do’s and don’ts of the society and human relationships and finds peace and freedom pretty much away from them, resting on the lap of the wilderness and nature. So why does someone travel? 

Travelling brings out happiness in life as we don’t spend most of our time untangling the complex web called society.We, as travelers seek for only one thing, happiness, and intend to gain it by spreading it; mostly detached from human-made illusions such as jealousy, power, fame and money because in the end ‘Happiness is only real, when shared’. The true spirit of a traveler lies in radiating happiness and spreading joy with everybody because as you travel you meet different kinds of people and you tend to adopt more of an accepting nature rather than being critical and judgmental because wisdom lies in realizing that a different opinion doesn’t mean a wrong opinion. We choose this life because we realize the complexities and sentimental pain in the world created by people and hence we choose to find our happiness in the paradise regulated and ruled by ourselves which is free from sorrow. And as we move along, we slowly start to find simple joys of life. We start cherishing the life as it is and tend to find joy in rather simple things such as a bird chirping or a cool breeze. We intend to find our ultimate paradise lying under the shade of a big green tree with a pleasant cool breeze swiftly running through our faces, watching the birds dance and sing around from one branch to the other. 

Nomads seek for a getaway. A getaway from all the pain, the misery, the problems, the complexities of life to a simple and carefree environment, away from these… all alone. It is important and crucial to travel alone sometimes. Traveling alone provides you with the knowledge of your true strengths and weaknesses away from complex illusions people create. 

Travel is all about self-discovery. Being away from everything and looking at everything to untangle the web of your life pondering what truly matters in life. By traveling, we attain wisdom to pursue high ideals and realize how illusive life we were leading because when we leave everything behind, we come to know their true worth. Mostly, we realize that we valued the unimportant things in life way too much.  

While experiencing these things, our first reaction might be to compare it to home, where our lives seem very mundane and safe. But really, traveling is a lesson in appreciating where we come from. Differences between our culture and the ones we are immersed in during our travels make us realize just how much we take for granted in our lives back home. 

We enter into the nomadic lifestyle as painful and tired humans and we come out as strong and clear-minded individuals who pursue wisdom and high ideals as the bond between nature and a man promotes creativity for the construction of a good life. Traveling around the world alone develops a very crucial trait in oneself i.e. being independent: When you travel alone you encounter a lot of different circumstances, which in routine life would require another person to deal with. But when you travel alone, you embrace independence, you learn how to overcome your sorrows, how to cherish your happiness, how to motivate yourself, needless of any other person to share it with, which in turn makes you strong-willed and independently free. 

The romance between a vagabond and the road is ecstatic and blissful. Traveling alone enriches a man with wisdom and the ability to appreciate what truly matters. It also matures a man to be happy with the simple joys of life and detach from everything to appreciate and find his own true self. Travelling fills every heart with eternal happiness and exciting pleasant experiences. In the end, traveling means exploring yourself because travel is not about the journey you take outside, but about the one, you take inside. 

Respect Fear

"Fear is not evil, it teaches us what our weaknesses are, and once we know that, we can become stronger" - Gildarts Clive

Fear is a word most often considered a negative word, something we want to get rid of, something we want to overcome, something when lost is considered an achievement. I personally am proud of some of my fears and am afraid of losing them. Following is my perception of the term fear in relation with humans and a try to explain why and how fear is sometimes all you need in life

Nothing truly great has happened without facing your fear first. If you look at successful entrepreneurs or Olympic athletes, I'm pretty sure they’ve experienced plenty of fearful feelings, anxiety and stress before achieving what they set out to achieve. That is what makes them great because they do something worthy of fear.

History has seen the best results in every field when people are exposed to critical fear. For example, the Olympic 100m record made by Usain Bolt was never beaten by him again, not even in the practice. That's because never did he feel that fear and pressure again on the track. If he wouldn't have feared of losing, he might not have put enough effort to win it. We most often see the kids being more irresponsible than adults. This is because fear of the outcomes of dropping a glass or touching the hot iron is what makes us not do it. Fear of losing is mostly what wins you stuff. The most important addition here would be death. Today, in the modern world, the words survival and fear are losing bonds but if we consider ancient history, our ancestors, worked as most animals do today. Fear of starvation is what made them push their limits to get food, fear of freezing cold is what made them invent fire, fear of animals is why they made weapons, and ultimately, fear of death is what kept them alive.

Fear of death is the ultimate fear we should all be proud of having and always try to retain it. Death is what makes you live and death is what makes you do what you have never imagined you would do. Here, let me put a story I read, to explain. Once, two men were on a walk discussing on how mother loves her child more than her own life. One of the two did not agree to this. He believed one's own life is always his first priority. Soon enough, they saw a mother monkey and his baby standing on a rock in the middle of the river who's water level was increasing, leaving them helpless to cross the river. After a few minutes, when the water level rose and reached about the chest of the baby monkey, the mother lifted him up in her arms stretched as high as possible above the ground. Watching this the first man said, "see my point just got proved. No mother can ever live risking her child's life" to which the other man said "Let's see what happens". A few more minutes later, when the water level rose even more to the shoulder of the mother monkey, she put her baby down on the rock and stood on him to avoid drowning. This clearly portrays that when we are really exposed to death, we do what we had never imagined we would have done, and the survival instinct and fear is what makes us do that and live. It's an inbuilt mechanism in human brains. In some cases, fear is the enemy of self-control but mostly, it helps us win the war.

Many of us let fear get in the way of long-term goals, and that's not good. But it's a mistake to think the solution is to overcome fear in general. You can't, and even if you could, you wouldn't like the results. When it comes to self-control, that instinctive feeling is going to help you make a wise decision. Rather than trying to drive out each and every bit of fear from your brain, try and let some of them settle, because you never know what they might win you. Properly read, our fears can offer us something as precious as the greatest inventions, plenty of wisdom, a bit of an insight and a version of the most elusive thing, THE TRUTH.

References - 

Psychology Today - Why We Need A Little Fear?

The Age.com - Fear A Cultural History

Should we teach DISCRIMINATION ?

Just a tiny thought, not a lengthy blog...

Since Discrimination is a huge problem for some, here's a good thought about how discrimination can be reduced further in our societies. Racism and Casteism should not be taught in schools. Just think of it. If the new generation was not even aware that blacks are considered inferior? That there is something called Discrimination. People discriminate because they know what it is. What if they don’t? They have been taught that Blacks are discriminated. At least it is one of the reasons. They who never do discriminate also know that blacks are being discriminated and might discriminate in critical conflicts. On the other side, the disadvantage of black knowing it is there as well. Suppose a white calls a black "hey see that blacky girl!" the girl would definitely feel offensive. But if instead a black girl calls a white like this, he won't be offended. Why? Because both blacks and whites know that Blacks only are considered inferior, not whites. What if both of them didn’t know?

If future generations wouldn’t know what discrimination is, they will never even discriminate in critical situations. They will not even know about it. That would bring blacks in an even better position than now. Blacks today, are in an advantage as compared to past but still there’s alot discrimination going on. We can only reduce discrimination to an extent through teaching about it but we might be able to eradicate this problem completely if we think it this way....

Please share your thoughts about this article and point out how this idea cannot work out properly.

I Left Social Media

There are many forms of social media that people around the entire globe access on a daily basis. Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, Tumblr, Pinterest (not really), texting, Tinder, and if you're stuck in the stone age, BBM. Most of you reading this probably have all or most of these social media apps on your phone or log in on your computer on a daily basis. Our lives as we know it have become encompassed with tweets, selfies, updates, snaps, filter changes, and hashtags. So, Here is my personal account on how social media has affected my life.

Only until a few months back I was just like all of the Teenagers of my generation. I loved football games, working out, and of course keeping up with social media. I had a routine of checking my phone almost every five minutes or less out of boredom. I even used to go and come from the pool with my phone shoved in my face. I was being just like “everyone else” by being obsessively involved in the social media trends and I thought it was 100 percent normal. I wanted everyone to know what I was doing and I wanted to know what everyone else was doing. It became like 60 percent of my day. It was the first thing I saw when I woke up and the last thing I saw when I eventually went to bed. I was addicted. I knew I had to put a stop to this so I decided to delete all of my social media applications (Except Instagram) until I felt I could recognise that I could live without it. I had no idea how long it would last and what I would find out about myself.

I started off strong by not looking at my accounts at all. The only apps I had on my phone were the basic ones it came with and my email account and some games. After the first week, I noticed myself checking my phone constantly even when I knew I had nothing to look at or check. I started obsessing and I went through old pictures in my phone just so I would have something to see and flip through. I must have looked through my pictures and checked my email a million times because I was so bored and all I could think about was checking my Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, etc.

At the time I was using Instagram in addition to my normal black and white negatives. As I walked the green roads around the town I found myself seeing things and thinking “I should put that on Instagram.” So I did. Several hours passed and I realised I hadn't made any pictures, nor had I really mentally engaged in my surroundings. Instagram was acting as a filter, blocking my actual, real interaction with the people and things around me. I deleted my Instagram account on the spot.

I don’t use “addiction” lightly. I've spent the past few weeks monitoring(informally) how, why and how often people “use” their Facebook accounts, and what I found, for me, was alarming. To further elaborate my point I will tell you another story. Recently, on yet another tour (some of you may know - The Rajasthan & Gujarat Tour) I was positioned near a young guy. As the train left the station, I noticed he was flicking through screen after screen of Instagram content. He kept scrolling until he lost cell signal. I thought this was the end of it, but apparently not. Fifteen minutes from landing he had his phone back out and was scrolling through BLANK INSTAGRAM PAGES. BLANK. There was no content yet he couldn’t stop doing it, staring with a dead gaze into an empty phone. As we reached his stop, his beloved signal returned and his face lit up once again. Again I thought this was the end but after he got off, his welcomers were waiting there...But “Mr Instagram” was once again on his phone, oblivious to the world around him and not even seeing his people. A-D-D-I-C-T-I-O-N. Now again, is this guy you? Is he me? I don’t THINK I’ve ever done this, but I’m sure I’ve caused someone walking down some places (malls, CCDs, etc.) to take evasive action because I’ve been on social media. And I know for certain I’ve had to take evasive action, many times, avoiding last second collisions with status updaters. If this seems inconsequential to you, or you are one of those folks who apologizes for this stuff by saying “What are you gonna do?” or “Well that is the world we live in now,” things I’ve heard relentlessly over the past few days, I get it, but I just made the decision to do what I could by not participating.

This was a sickness and I knew I had to break it. I never thought social media played such a big role in my life as it proved to be by getting rid of it completely. I felt so weak that I let something intangible control my life so much. In a study conducted by Pew Research Center, 92 percent of teens report going online daily and 56 percent of the teens go online several times a day. Even though I was being like the average teen or young college person, I knew I needed to make a change. I stopped splurging and checking it and I eventually stopped looking at it completely.

What is really interesting to me is since I deleted these darn things, which as you now know hasn’t been long, I noticed something. Social media had become my default brain space. When I was in between tasks, or even tabs, my brain would say “You should check your social media accounts.” Subliminal. “Oh, you have a free second…check your accounts.” And now, I have nothing to check. I’m curious just how much time I'm going to save and just how much of that time and energy I can channel, funnel or apply to actual work? How will I lose contact with my friends? I’m not really losing these friends, just their online versions, and the idea that we are really connected via these networks.

I was actually super happy. I started noticing things around me like the beautiful trees on my way to pool, the people who also swim there, I started interacting with people in parties and events (unlike previously when I used to sit alone with my phone easing my boredom) and even felt like I had more energy and positivity in my life. I did not have any social media on my phone for six weeks. That may not seem like that long, but for me, it was a huge accomplishment. I realised that what other people are doing does not matter and it will not make my life any greater by keeping up with people I barely know. I decided I did not want to be like everyone else and obsess over the next tweet from so-and-so or spend hours picking out an Instagram filter. I have since re-downloaded apps on my phone, but I do check them less and I realise the dangers of being addicted to social media.

Perhaps I'm making too much of this. Perhaps I’m not. Again, it all comes down to undivided attention, something I'm finding so rare it feels like it should be on the endangered species list. I encourage everyone to delete their social media apps off their phones for an extended period of time and see what you learn about yourself. I learned that I can do anything I set my mind to, I do not have to rely on other people to make me happy, and you can see a lot of beautiful things when you look up. You see I have a new agenda in life, and to achieve what I'm after will require every once of time, energy, luck and focus, and anything that takes away from this I can no longer afford to be a part of. So, if you still have any interest in communicating with me, I'm an easy guy to find or you can ring. Always there! So, my suggestion - use this social media but prioritise it wisely & Have some more time to experience real, to interact in REAL with your beloved.