Impulse

Always try to avoid fights and arguments, even if you can win. Courage lies in the wisdom of knowing when the fight will gain you something and when it won't. And losing a fight that is worthless, is actually winning it. Always quantify and prioritize judgment over will. Sometimes it takes more courage to not fight. That's where you overpower your will to overpower your opponent and your judgment triumphs. Will is a reaction, while judgment is a decision. If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one might appreciate his bravery, but not his judgment.

Let's say you didn't seek the fight, but the fight came to you. Someone sits on your seat and refuses to get up, someone bumps into your car and starts shouting at you.

These are the situations where usually the action begins. And post action, comes the common explanation i.e. "They didn't give me a choice". I say it's foolish and false. False that there existed no other option; and foolish to increase the tempo of the fight when nothing is at stake. What could you possibly lose if you just drive away from the man shouting at you? Well, you do lose something there; i.e. your ego.

But do people really like to lose their very dear ego? Not often. Nobody likes to lose a fight and look like a coward right? Let me tell you where exactly lies the courage and cowardice. Cowardice lies in the heart of a man who chooses to fight. It is so, because first, when you pick a fight, you declare a defeat of your judgment over your will. And second, you portray that you do not have the courage to resolve the matter. While the one trying to avoid the fight is portraying a keen effort to resolve the matter with peace and has a clear-headed control over his will and senses. A perfect portrayal of a personality having inner strength and self-reliance; 'courageous' enough to withstand hostility and aggression without being reactive.

I do not find any sense when people say 'fight with courage'. Fighting does not make you courageous but picking your battles does.

You do not have to show up to every argument you are invited to. One should always realize that it is a senseless fight if you're not losing or saving something at the end of it. To be mentioned duly, if there is something at stake, do fight for it. It is always wise to fight for something or someone dear.

The rise in tension of fights is always directly proportional to the size of ego, and inversely to the logic. After a point in a fight, you are no longer fighting for the cause, but to save your ego from damage. There occur numerous thinkable events happening around us on the same blueprint. But trust me, punching back the guy just because they punched you first, won't gain you anything.

In my advice, next time you encounter a fight and want to teach that jerk a lesson, just walk away. And you have just taught him a lesson hundred punches could never do. Forgiveness is the biggest gesture of love. A generous heart and a kind speech will get you through more fights than your rock fists and warm head will ever do.

Do good and be good, peace! :-)

Respect for Introverts

In the society of late night parties, EDM driven dance, hours and hours of calls and texts with friends, there is long ignored a breed called 'Introverts'. For me, anybody who likes to keep their feelings to themselves and enjoy their own company mostly and likes to deal with their own issues in life is an Introvert. But as is the nature of the society towards all minorities, it is so towards introverts as well. Oppression and Imposing of ways and habits is something introverts suffer from quite a long time now.

We introverts like to do things a little bit different from what extroverts like. Dancing in parties, expressing our hearts out blank to everyone, whining in front of friends about the issues of life aren't really the things that an introvert likes to do.

And that does not mean we do not enjoy ourselves. If you want to hang out with me, don't take me to a party to dance with, sit me down in a cafe instead and you'll like my company more. If you want me to share my feelings with you, be a good listener and slowly you'll find me being comfortable with you. Most people listen not to listen but to get an opportunity to speak. If you want to celebrate with me, don't send me a shiny invitation to a lavish late night party with 100s of people dancing. Instead, sit me down in a cafe with a couple of friends a for a nice little chat. And hopefully, it will be a more pleasant experience. Introverts keep what they feel, what they want, what they like...everything to themselves which often makes other people misunderstand them for being rude, unsentimental, arrogant, shy and ignorant. Trust me, we are none of these. It's just your perception.

Society nowadays is designed and inclined to feed the interests of extroverts.

Celebration today is equal to a party, friendship is equal to the duration of calls and quietness is equal to shyness. Society finds superiorities in being an extrovert. Here, we are fed with a daily thought that those who do not dance in a party are shy, rather than respecting somebody's dislike towards dancing. And what is wrong with being shy anyway? Here, we are shown that those who talk to their friends hours and hours in a day are closer friends. I have a friend whom I meet once in a month or two. And I am closer to her than I am to the people I spend the whole day with everyday. Why doesn't that fit the same logic? Because we usually value the quality of time spent rather than the quantity of it. Here we are also told that we should be like that random guy who speaks to new people very easily. More than it is about whether we can or cannot, it is about whether we want to or not.

 I respect the way of life of extroverts. I just don't see myself fitting in there.

So rather than trying, I like to sit back and relax with the way I am. And one should respect that. Period. It is already difficult for introverts to find their niche in a world that predominantly values extrovert tendencies and as a responsible human one must not invade their space even more. As humans beings, we should be acknowledging and respecting the diversity of interests and opinions and ways of life of other people rather than imposing ours on them. Not doing so, ironically, makes one rude, unsentimental, arrogant and ignorant.

SO, my message to every extrovert reading this is that we respect the way you live your life but we just don't happen to like it. We have a different way by which we like to live our lives. And what you should be doing is respecting it rather than imposing your ways on it. And to all the introverts reading this, do not poison yourself with the illusion that any other way of enjoying your life is better than what yours is. Do what you enjoy and be proud of who you are. Stop pitying yourself and start loving yourself.